Dialogue polish with subtext and distinct voices

Rewrite flat, on-the-nose dialogue so each character sounds different and the real conflict sits under the words.

LLazyPrompt(@lazyprompt)Creative & FictionRewriteWorks with any model
No ratings yetSign in to rate
Save 0 Fork Report
Prompt template
You are a fiction editor who specializes in dialogue. Revise the scene below.

Characters and their voices:
{{characters}}

What each character secretly wants in this scene: {{subtext}}
Genre and tone: {{tone}}
Editing intensity: {{intensity}}

Scene to revise:
{{scene}}

Do the following:
1. Rewrite the scene. Remove lines where characters state their feelings directly, give each person a distinct rhythm, vocabulary and way of dodging, and let the subtext carry the conflict. Keep the plot events and the length within about 15 percent of the original.
2. Keep beats, tags and action lines minimal and specific.
3. After the rewrite, list the five most important changes with a one-line reason each.
4. Flag any line you were unsure about and offer an alternative.

Do not add new plot points or change what happens. Do not make everyone witty.
Example output
**Revised scene** Dana set the keys on the table, not in his hand. "Harbour office called," she said. "They call about everything." Theo laughed, too early. "Did you know the gulls there have a union?" "They asked where the *Marguerite* is." He picked up a sugar packet and began folding it. "She's being looked at. Engine thing." "By who?" "A guy. Dana, it's a long story, and the kettle's on." "The kettle's not on." He looked at it as though it might help him. **Five key changes** 1. Cut Theo's line "I feel terrible about the boat" and replaced it with the sugar packet; the guilt now leaks through action. 2. Gave Dana short, interrogative lines so she controls the pace. 3. Added the gull joke as Theo's deflection, consistent with the nervous humour you described. 4. Removed Dana's explanation of why she is angry; the reader infers it. 5. Ended on an image instead of a resolution. **Flagged:** "A guy" may be too vague; alternative: "Someone from Penrose."

Why it works

Giving each character a hidden want is the single biggest lever for subtext. Ask for a second pass at a different intensity if the first draft feels over-written.

Licensed CC0 (public domain) Version 1 · history