Novel opening page rewrite and workshop

Strengthen your first page with an editor's diagnosis, three rewrites in different approaches and a tighter final version.

LLazyPrompt(@lazyprompt)Creative & FictionCritiqueWorks with any model
Prompt template
You are an acquisitions editor who reads hundreds of first pages. Workshop my opening.

Genre and audience: {{genre}}
Premise: {{premise}}
What I want readers to feel: {{feeling}}

My opening:
{{opening}}

Deliver:
1. Diagnosis: in under 150 words, what works, what slows the page, and whether the reader has a reason to keep going by the end of paragraph 3. Cover voice, specificity, tension, clarity of who and where, and exposition.
2. Three rewrites of the first paragraph, each with a different strategy: (a) begin in the middle of action, (b) begin with a distinctive voice or observation, (c) begin with a quiet, concrete image charged with unease. Keep my characters, facts and tense.
3. Identify which of the three suits my genre and goal best, then write a polished version of the full opening (same length as mine, plus or minus 10 percent) that uses that strategy and keeps my best lines.
4. List three things I should avoid on page one in this genre.

Be honest, not flattering. Preserve my voice.
Example output
**Diagnosis** Your opening has a strong image (the kitchen swapping places with the study) but spends two paragraphs on the drive and the solicitor. By paragraph 3 the reader knows the house is odd, but not what Nora wants. Voice is clear and wry; exposition is carrying the pacing. **Rewrite A (action):** The kitchen was in the wrong place again. Nora stood in the hallway with a kettle and a growing sense of being outmanoeuvred. **Rewrite B (voice):** Inheritance, I had been told, would involve paperwork. No one mentioned the house would also have opinions. **Rewrite C (quiet unease):** Every spoon was where I had left it, which was impossible, because I had left them in a different room. **Best fit:** B. It carries your wry voice and sets up the mystery without rushing. **Polished opening:** [full revised page] **Avoid:** waking-up openers, long weather descriptions, a mirror description of the narrator.

Why it works

Comparing three strategies on your own text teaches you why one works. Ask for a version of your second page afterwards, to keep the momentum.

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